Depression and trying to craft

     Okay it's time to come clean with anyone who is following this and myself. I have been fighting my inner demons for the last month and they are winning. I have bi-polar disorder, disease, or as it used to be called manic depression and right now the depressive side of it is rearing it's head. I have been trying hard to keep going and working on things for my Etsy and Zibbet shop but when I finish something I can't get myself to take photos and get it posted for selling. The problem is that I doubt myself as to if what I've made is good enough that anyone would want to even look at it let alone buy it. So I put it on a shelf and go on to make something else.
      I'm also dealing with some other health issues that are making think twice about where my life is now and where it is going. I have a bad knee and the pain is getting worse with each damp or humid day that we have so that is making it harder to get around. This sets up a vicious cycle because the doctors want me to get exercise to keep the knee and the rest of me limber but when I try to exercise it hurts so I skip it, then I feel guilty that I'm not following what the doctors want me to do. So this works against me with my depression and it goes round and round.
      I take meds for the bi-polar but I'm what is called a rapid cycler and the drugs stop working after awhile and I'm at the point where they aren't doing it for me and so I need to give in and talk to the doctors and try something else. This is hard because my shrink that I worked with for 10 years moved his practice to over 4 hours away about 2 years ago and I haven't been able to find anyone else that I feel as comfortable with as I did him. My general family doctor is great but can't do quite the same as a shrink can so it's more difficult to talk to them about what I need. So I've been trying to deal with the feelings of emptiness and worthlessness by myself so that I don't burden my friends and family.
      I'm not going to write for a while so I can concentrate on getting healthy both body and mind. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. Goodnight & Goddess Bless